An Argument for Self-Care

Self-care. It’s almost become a buzzword nowadays, evoking images of soaking in a bathtub with candles and a glass of wine. Most equestrians I know (including myself) sneer at that imagery, instead praising working long hours, dirt under the fingernails, and guzzling gallons of caffeine instead of eating a balanced meal while their horse has a nutritionist, chiropractor, massage therapist, and more. No doubt, that comes with the territory; I’m guilty of all those things as much as the next equestrian. But at what cost? What are we telling ourselves when we cross the line from sacrifice to masochism?

It’s easy to get obsessed with the grind, and I think the horse industry has been suffering because of it. Yes, it’s hard work, and it is not glamorous work. On top of that, it can be incredibly emotional and stressful, and that psychological part sometimes gets swept under the rug and covered up with “toughness.” Our industry isn’t the only one victim to this: many industries are, especially those in which people are charged with helping others. As in all things, we have to find balance. While many of us have no choice but to keep grinding, especially if we’re new to an area or position, it is still important that we find ways to keep ourselves healthy. Horse people are great for doing that for their horses, so why not treat ourselves with the same kindness?

In my view, there are three areas of self-care: physical, mental, and spiritual. Sure, physically we can take a long soak in a tub or treat ourselves to our favorite foods, but that’s a temporary and superficial element. The equivalent for our horse care is giving a bath and our horse’s favorite treats. Sure, it helps, but what about nutrition? If you don’t have time to make three (or more) healthy and balanced meals a day, look for a supplement. I tend to have a finicky stomach after two surgeries, not to mention a list of weird food allergies, so healthy shakes and easy-to-digest snacks are my salvation to get in good nourishment. One of my favorite nutrition tools is the Cronometer app; it lets me log macros as well as vitamins to make sure I’m getting all I need. I really recommend taking a nutrition course if you can, even a short one, so that you can understand what the nutrients do (for example, carbs get a bad rap, but our brains need glucose to survive, just not too much). It can help cut through all the buzzwords and insanity that’s out there, such as “keto” or “paleo” and help you find a diet that nourishes your body and works for you. While nutrition gives your body fuel to heal and function, it’s important to look at condition. Muscle imbalances can not only impact your riding but also impact your long-term joint health. Cardio also helps with stamina and better oxygen utilization. You don’t have to sign up for marathons and CrossFit and train every day, but appropriate strength training and cardio for your fitness level and goals, even once or twice a week, can help keep you healthy. Chiropractic, massage, acupuncture, or other modalities like PEMF can also help with keeping your body healthy and watch out for issues before they arise. This is true physical self-care.

Mental self-care is a little more sensitive and personal and not always easy to talk about. Therapy is always useful, but then there’s times in between therapy sessions as well as healthy habits to keep yourself in a good state of mind. Mindfulness is important, especially when it comes to being around animals. While this seems like a buzzword, it’s really a practice of learning how to let your mind calm itself down. A Zen coach friend of mine says: “the mind is a great servant but a terrible master.” That really hits home on most things; our minds can sometimes wreak havoc unless we learn to rein it in. This can be really difficult for neurodivergents, as neurotypical methods really don’t work the same way. Meditation is one way, but a lot of people on the neurodivergent spectrum struggle with this. Breathing exercises work pretty well for most people, such as breathing in for different counts (in for 6, hold for 5, out for 4, etc.), or breathing into/out to different spaces (in to core, out to front, in to core, out to back, in to down, out to core, etc.). However, there are other tools. For neurodivergents, stimming can actually shortcut the brain into a meditative space, so finding a safe place to stim can be really helpful. Other tools that help to distract one from other things include shinrin-yoku, or “forest immersion,” where you walk through the forest and just observe the sights/sounds/smells/textures of the forest. Another is just being around animals, such as watching the horses in the pasture, sitting amongst a bunch of chickens scratching for food, or even petting the animals in a field. Even better is if you can do this while meditating on what speaks to you, or even sitting with the difficult emotions and letting them out while you’re with the animals. This is incredibly healing and cathartic, but it can be hard to find space to do this if you’re at a big boarding barn where other boarders might accidentally interrupt you in your vulnerable moments. If you can find an equine-assisted learning or equine-assisted psychotherapy avenue (or even one that uses other animals), it can be very powerful and a bit less intimidating than traditional talk therapy while giving you an opportunity to be around the animals with no disturbances. I really cannot emphasize enough the importance of this; as a riding instructor, I encounter a number of clients that are crying out for help with their mental health needs, but they are stuck thinking that the only mental health option is talk therapy. While it is very useful, it is not the only option out there; there are a lot of other ways to take care of mental health. A lot of people treat the barn and their riding lessons as their mental health outlet, and while this is good, most riding instructors are not well-equipped to take the place of a therapist, so using some of these other tools will help you find more outlets. While mindfulness is a really powerful tool, others include indulging in your hobbies, enjoying an activity with friends, or even just setting boundaries, like putting the phone on “do not disturb” at certain hours and leaving minor things undone so you can enjoy life.

Spiritual self-care often falls in with mental self-care, especially for those who are not so spiritual. However, for me, it is a separate element. It is the space that words and thoughts cannot touch; that authentic “self” that even I do not fully know. I’ve often put it on the back burner, but I’ve suffered for it. Finding a supportive community or spiritual leader is very important for spiritual health. For me, it’s going to the early morning service at the little episcopal church down the road, where there are maybe 5 other people in the congregation (literally). I like the structure and tradition, which can be meditative in its repetitiveness and consistency of prayers and responses, and it helps keep me grounded and connected to a higher purpose and where I might fit into that. I also read Scripture and other adjuncts to Scripture to bolster this through the week. Whatever your faith tradition may be, I think it’s still useful and important to dedicate a self-care element to connecting to that higher plane and therefore stepping back to see what your place or purpose is in this crazy world we live in.

While it’s often hard to take that first step, and it’s daunting to look at all the elements of self-care that really are important, it becomes a routine that doesn’t take nearly the time and energy you think it might. Even taking a couple hours a week for physical health, an hour for mental health, and an hour for spiritual health, can make a world of difference. You can even put it into one or two days to make it even more efficient. Making little changes at a time, like swapping a soda for a healthy shake every two or three days and taking a short walk instead of watching TV once a week, can start having dramatic results. That first step is the hardest, but once you take it, you’ll be so glad you did.